The Battle for Grammar
by rusticsky
Summary: The cats of the forest have split into two groups, Good Grammar cats and Bad Grammar cats. Chaos ensues when Greystripe and Millie start speaking French, and Sandstorm starts talking like River Song? Only StarClan knows why the cats start to regenerate... Contains French, but it's funnier to have no clue what they're saying. (I used Google Translate so this should be interesting)


**Here is a masterpiece I began to write last summer.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Also, feel free to use google translate if you don't know french.**

 **Or just be confused.**

 **Like me.**

Glemstar clsoed her eyes and 4r grolwpq;lred. " i hear smart cats. """"

"Oh nu we acnat haver smarter cats tean ujsa! That wppd ne a sdosgrace to the glemstarclan name!" "" "" Jauyfeater ujpweled.

" etheis isa a disasater! " Honeydstar fro m straclan sad.

"Alright, what's up now? Those bad grammar cats?" growled good-Firestar. "Those clones of us know nothing. In fact, my mouse-brain clone's in love with the leader!"

"I can't believe this! We should destroy them!" growled good-Tigerstar.

"Woah, calm down Tigger," teased good-Goldenflower. "But he's right. We can't have bad grammar around us anymore. Fanfictions are _so_ horrible when they include canon cats."

"Yeah, the Erins wrote us so much more… what's the word… belle et gracieuse (Beautiful and graceful)." Greystripe said, using his french skills.

"War. The Grammar War, how about it?" Firestar laughed, suggesting a name.

"Oui Oui, c'est génial! La guerre de grammaire! (Yes Yes it's great! The grammar war!)" proclaimed Greystripe in French. "Bataille!" (battle)

"Battle!" declared Tigerstar.

"I canfd hearsd them ujsing my ultra great non-mary-sue hearign!" lakpaw procalmed. "Theahy wantred war!" '

"N oe nolt war!" growled GForsetail (Willow's mat). "I WIKLL POROPTECT UI MY PURDY WILLOW!"

"THNAKINGS OF YOU!" YOWLED WILLOWSTAR WITH CAPS LOCK ON. "WE SHALL ATTACK WITH SPAMMING THEM!"

"NUUUUU I DON"T LIKE SPAMMING! WE ATTACK THEM WITH OUR ULTRA GREAT MARY-SUE-NESS!" Dawnbrecze yowled.

"MMMMAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FURRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" STRASTRA YWOLED.

"I think they're spamming again," growled good Firestar. "We gotta take care of that, don't we?"

"Oui Oui mon amie," (Yes yes my friend) Greystripe said again in French. "Et je pense que je suis coincé dans un accent français, Firestar."

"What, Greystripe?" Firestar asked his friend. Greystripe shook his head.

"Désolé mon ami, I was trapped in an accent again," Greystripe apologized.

"Hé au moins ton non écossais, ces gars sont ennuyeux. Ce sont tous des étangs," Millie said to Greystripe in French, the only language she knew.

"Oi! Bonjour chérie! Je pensais que vous étiez sur le côté de GleamClan," Greystripe said to Millie.

"Est-ce que vous venez de me jeter un Song River?" Millie asked Greystripe.

"Oui oui, en effet, ma médecin qui est le meilleur," Greystripe smiled, his charming look could catch the eye of any she-cat.

"Enough flirting, guys," growled Tigerstar, "It's hideous."

"Le petit agneau a dit, assez de flirter des gars, c'est hideux," translated Greystripe.

"Ouais, je connais Greystripe," Millie said.

"Attendez, vous comprenez l'anglais?" Greystripe asked.

"Bien sûr, je ne suis pas stupide," Millie said sarcastically.

"TU M'AS MENTI!" yowled Greystripe.

"Quelle...?"

"JE POUVAIS QUE VOUS SOUHAITEZ LE FRANÇAIS," yowled Greystripe.

"Non, Greystripe. J'ai toujours compris l'anglais. Je ne peux pas le dire," Mille argued.

"Menteur! Millie est un menteur!" Greystripe said, on the edge of tears.

"I have absolutely no clue what's happening…" Firestar mumbled.

"Same," Sandstorm said as she walked into the quarry.

"Sandy! I thought you'd disappeared!" Firestar gasped.

"No, I got turned into a human and got trapped in somewhere called 'The Warrior Cat Forums,' but I never disappeared," growled Sandstorm, rolling her eyes. "Oh, and don't read that." Sandy said, pulling out a journal. There was a twinkle in her eye. "Spoilers." And for some reason she had a english accent now. "Oi, I was also turned into a human called River Song… and believe me, that was the most confusing!"

"Erm… okay," Firestar said, shrugging.

"WAIT SANDSTORM IS RIVER SONG? REBONDISSEMENT!" Greystripe exclaimed. Sandstorm/River Song laughed.

"Sweetie, of course I am. Boy, is the galaxy big and full of different kinds of people? Who'd have thought cats were so itsy bitsy!" exclaimed Sandstorm. "And I was a professor! How exciting!"

Suddenly, fire seemed to burst out of each cat's paws.

"Woah, what's happening?" Firestar exclaimed.

"Spoilers!" screamed Sandstorm/River Song.

"ALLONS-Y!" Greystripe yowled as loud as he could. Sandstorm/River Song smiled.

"Hello Sweetie!" she exclaimed.

 **Working on the next chapter now, can't say when it'll be up, SPOILERS!**

 **Sorry lol**

 **I've been rewatching Doctor Who too much, clearly.**


End file.
